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UK offers free porn warnings 100% - guaranteed!



Most men attest to being addicted to cautions about porn. For many it is the sexual equivalent of a wet paint sign; which naturally you cannot resist touching it. Said one silhouetted man: 'I got an email warning me about excessive donkey-punching leading to acne. I've no idea what arse-snorkelling and geriatric-feltching is, so I got right on to Urban Thesaurus. The next thing I know, I'm living in a sex dungeon with the cast from an E. L. James novel'.


Sadly, it has become a slippery slope, with a slipperiness enhanced by KY jelly. Explained one addict: 'Short attention spans and heightened arousal just means that in a health warning, people only see the word porn. And further more, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn...you're not listening to me are you?'


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