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Vegan bacon recalled for tasting too good



The manufacturers of a brand of vegan bacon, Rainbow Peace World Ethical Products, have today issued a recall on the grounds that their product tastes too good.


”We naively assumed what we’d done was a good thing,” said company “spokeshuman” Jolanda Kaftan-Trustfund. “It tasted just like real bacon and didn’t involve any suffering, apart from those who had to suffer the smugness of people buying it.


”However, it turns out most of our customers want it to taste pretty rank, so they can feel even smugger and more virtuous about the sacrifice they’re making in eating it.”


The company food scientists said this was no problem, they’d throw out the new, pleasant tasting recipe and go back to using sawdust mixed with vaseline, like before.


Meanwhile, Kaftan-Trustfund was dismissed from the company for not being a proper vegan, since she’d given an entire 5 minute press conference without telling anyone she was.


image from pixabay

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