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Whales approve of Japan hunting humans instead

Overturning their post-WW2 pacifist constitution, Japan has developed a taste for the arms trade, rather than exotic marine flesh. A spokesperson said: ‘Like the ironically titled UN Security Council, the plan is to militarize impoverished countries and then use their weapons stockpile as an excuse to attack them. That’s why we’ll be selling minke whales our new amphibious tank’.

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