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Williamson insists topless picture of Queen must remain

Updated: Jul 10, 2021

Oxford University students have courted controversy by removing a collection of saucy snaps of our beloved Queen. With her head appearing on so many notes, there is a vast number of unused images of her bottom half in circulation, all literally topless. These particular photos are said to be of Elizabeth trooping the colours in nothing but a bearskin.

Members of Magdalen College decided keeping a photo of someone who is not your nan is a little bit creepy. Said one: 'We just used it for darts practice'.

Out of respect, Mr Williamson, himself, insists on keeping his eyes shut when licking the Queen's behind on a stamp. He also refuses to keep any coins depicting the monarch in his pocket, next to his pre-pubescent testes.

The education secretary said all images of the monarchy were beyond reproach, including Harry dressed as a Nazi, Andrew comforting teenage girls, and It's a Royal Knockout. His aide explained: 'Mr. Williamson keeps a laminated picture of the Queen above his bed. It's both reassuring and arousing. I'm sure she has one of him'.

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