Grandstanding at his bi-monthly meeting, Sam Goater (35) declared he would go the extra mile - while keeping both fingers firmly crossed. In fact, he has no plans to do anything that will involve extra effort, a millisecond of inconvenience or the slimmest possibility that he might help someone.
One tearful colleague spoke of how impressed they were by Sam's sacrifice: 'You just don't often see acts of generosity like that'. Which is true. They hadn't. Sadly, 'taking one for the team' has become code for 'I'm ruthlessly ambitious and at the first opportunity I'll backstab the lot of you for a promotion.'
Said Sam: 'Last month I promised to 'leave no stone unturned' and to give '110 %' - in reality I just sat at my desk and played solitaire. I'm going to have these guys for breakfast. There may be no 'I' in Team, but there is plenty of meat.'