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Man ponders next move after getting ‘Regards’ email signoff


A man has been left confused and unsure of what to do next after receiving an email from a work colleague using the sign-off ‘Regards’.


Pete McBride, 47, assistant sales manager in a car leasing company received the cryptic response after innocuously asking a co-worker if they’d managed to put together the spreadsheet with the sales forecasts for the next 3 months.


‘I asked Rich the question with my usual email request sandwich’ explained an agitated McBride. ‘You know the one,: ‘I hope you are keeping well…have you got the sales spreadsheet….Look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours, Pete’.


‘I flicked it across to Rich, waited a few hours, and then got back from lunch and found this grenade in my inbox: ‘Hi Pete, haven’t done this yet. Will get round to it when I can. Regards, Rich’.


‘Have to admit, it’s totally floored me’, continued McBride. No ‘best wishes’, ‘kind regards’, or even the slightly annoying but obviously affectionate ‘KR’. ‘I mean, is he going to do the sodding spreadsheet or not? His passive-aggressive ‘Regards’, clearly delivered with that condescending raise of the eyebrows and that arrogant little sneer he has suggests not. Wanker’.


McBride is now considering his next move , weighing up the relative benefits and costs of a capitalised ‘THIS IS NOW URGENT!!!’ Subject line along with the universally hated ‘Best’ signoff, versus a short ‘thanks Rich, copying Helen and the top team in for information’, along with a CC to Helen, the regional sales manager and 10 other senior executives.


‘I’m just not prepared to put up with this crap’, continued McBride. ‘I don’t want to, but if I have to, I’ll send it again with the atomic bomb signoff ‘Please Advise’. I’ve got nothing to lose’.

Manager insisting on calling any skill a 'secret sauce'


A middle manager is annoyingly and slightly weirdly insisting on calling even the most basic competence amongst his team their 'secret sauce', it has been confirmed.


The news comes even though the man has never been a chef and has no known experience in the restaurant industry.


Mike McBride, 47, regional manager at marketing agency All Leads Lead to Leeds, keeps using the term after hearing it on a business leadership podcast.


'Well done guys on the presentation pitch today, especially Ian for those top-drawer PowerPoint animations- that's definitely your secret sauce' said McBride in a team meeting.


'Now, who is down to produce the next quarterly budget figures? Sophie, can I leave the forecasting to you - it's definitely your secret sauce', continued McBride.


'Just one more thing on the agenda - organising the next team night out', continued McBride. 'Adele, you smashed it booking our last evening out playing darts at Flights of Fancy. I think events management is kinda becoming your secret sauce'.


'Can I just throw in one humble suggestion of that new tapas bar down the road?', continued McBride.


'The chef there cooks these amazing dishes and he finishes them off with these semi-liquid reductions and emulsions which enhance the flavour, texture and visual appeal of the food'.


'But here's the thing - no-one knows the ingredients he uses to make them. I don't know how to describe it - it's like his clandestine condiment or something.'


Office workers ascend tower in Taipei


Some 200 office workers ascended one of the world’s tallest skyscrapers yesterday, just as they have done every weekday for the last 10 years of so. They made the ascent without ropes or the use of supplementary oxygen, and took the difficult interior route using a combination of stairs and elevators to make it to the 1,667ft summit of Taipei 101, one of the tallest buildings in Asia. Observers say they looked for the most part relaxed, almost disinterested.


The group faced a number of challenges along the way, among them a nasty paper jam on one of the printers on floor 16 and a leaking watercooler outside the meeting room on floor 50. Some of the party were also distracted by a tee-shirted figure climbing the outside of the building in what was presumed to be some sort of promotional stunt.


One of the first to arrive at his desk was Wei Liang who told reporters: ‘To be honest the main fear we faced was boredom. It’s a hurdle we face every day. I’ve worked in the tower for 15 years and it doesn’t get any easier. I’m in insurance. Need I say more?’


Meanwhile, when the t-shirted guy reached the summit he was met by security who gave him a damp cloth and said: ‘You missed some bird shit on the 48th floor. Back you go.’




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