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Iain Duncan Smith to simplify all his cock-ups into one Universal Cock-Up

'unfit for purpose' now made more efficiently 'unfit for purpose'‘I am sick and tired of this constant culture of blame,’ he told reporters, ‘and it’s all YOUR fault.’

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Michael Gove unveils revisionist history syllabus featuring “World War Fun!”

Your country needs ME!Out goes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig as a ruthless incompetent and in comes the image of General Sir Douglas Haig the caring sensitive, people-friendly line manager.

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Sir Stuart Rose launches ‘Simply NHS’ food range

'Every little helps... Er, no, that's not right.'Hospitals will now offer customers more ‘food choice’, while ensuring that ‘patient parts’ are not squandered.

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Madeleine McCann missing from front page of Express

Concerns have been raised over the absence of missing child Madeline McCann from the headlines of the Daily Express.

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Man threatens suicide under pressure of Candy Crush Saga requests

any other sort of crush momentarily preferable“No more! No effing more! If I want to play Jelly Splash, I’ll pigging well play Jelly Splash!”

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