NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Man mistakes chasing his children up the stairs shouting ‘Raarrr!!!’ for parenting

'dads get tired too' The nightly routine has finally driven his wife to breaking point.

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Aliens regret policy of only abducting lone weirdos

Can't learn much from a Utah farmer who's run out of gas‘In hindsight, we should probably have looked beyond suggestible loners with a history of mental health problems.’

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Britain’s last soldier votes not to go to Syria

can't be arsedThe vote in the House of Commons dismissing even the principle of going to war in Syria has been ratified today by Britain’s last remaining soldier, Barry.

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Queen requests state burial in Waitrose car park

will consider offers from Lidl‘Her Majesty is keen to reintroduce the medieval tradition of laying monarchs to rest beneath municipal car parks’

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Daily Mail website to be given ‘Moral Panic button’

Could have saved thousands of lives if introduced sooner. Mail now investigating.Clicking button will automatically notify relevant authorities that ‘something must be done’.

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