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Politicians to be permanently sealed within giant Westminster Bubble

welcome to the pleasure domeThe multi-million pound Odium Project aims to collect every variety of politician, lobbyist and political journalist and keep them in a safe, temperature controlled environment.

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Tories promise to review controversial ‘League Table’ system for football teams

people just want the best for their season ticket moneyShadow sports minister Hugh Robertson has promised sports fans that the Conservatives, if elected, would review the controversial ‘league table’ system for football teams.

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Tony Blair now receiving letters from women who usually make advances to violent prisoners

women strangely attracted to those on the edge of societySources close to Tony Blair claim that the former Prime Minister has recently begun to receive a deluge of letters from the kind of women who normally write explicit correspondence to well-known violent prisoners.

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Last of the Durex Sisters dies at 93

Boy in Company B had one hell of a bugleBetty Durex, the last surviving member of the celebrated wartime singing trio the Durex Sisters, has died at the age of 93 at her condominium in Florida. Paying tribute, Prime Minister David Cameron reminded reporters ‘It was said that her image was in every pub toilet in the land. And there aren’t many people who can claim that.’

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Bedroom cameras to monitor celibacy of gay bishops

paid for by generous donations in the collection plateSecurity cameras are being installed in the bedrooms of Britain’s openly gay bishops to ensure that they adhere to the strict new celibacy rules imposed by the Church of England.

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