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‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God

‘I don’t care what you call me – Allah, God, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever – It really doesn’t matter because I don’t exist’.

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Ridley Scott releases new director’s cut of ‘that Hovis advert’

best thing since spliced breadThe advert will premiere at London’s IMAX cinema, followed by a Q&A session with the director and a selection of uncomfortable-looking Hovis middle managers.

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Hotel California to review check-out policy in light of Tripadvisor ratings

Heartbreak Hotel just down the road 'a better bet'The advent of social media has given a voice to disgruntled guests, many of whom have been enforced residents in the hotel lobby for several decades.

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History of Michael Gove to be made compulsory in secondary schools

Michael Gove, circa 1950‘His story is as English as the Battle of Hastings, or Clause 28,’ said one source.

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Kebab shop moves into ‘vajazzle sponsorship’

extras available on the side ‘We’d often wondered how to crack the elusive 17-25 male-pissed-out-of-head-and-needing-a-calorie-boost-after-some-late-night-action market segment.’

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