The news written by you…

Pigeon fell asleep in mid-air after 19 hour NHS shift

A pigeon trained to spot rogue cells in breast cancer patients, narrowly escaped death after falling asleep in mid-air at Earls Court tube station following a 19 hour shift, during which it didn’t have time for a lunch or toilet break.

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EU to start checking faces on passports

EU officials have tightened up border security by ensuring that border officials confirm the face on offered passports roughly match the face of the person offering the document. Previously it was sufficient for the person entering the EU to be ‘of a similar gender’.

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Dell buys Adele

Fresh from the triumph of its new XJ42 Infinibook, Texas computer outfit Dell has announced it has bought UK singing sensation Adele.

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Adele buys a Dell

Fresh from the triumph of her new Album, the UK singing sensation has announced she writes all her songs on a Dell.

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Two-thirds ‘unaware’ that north of England has electricity, running water

A BBC-commissioned survey finds that 64% of people in the UK are unaware that the Northern cities, such as Manchester and Newcastle, have electricity and running water. When asked to describe the North of England, most Brits believed Northerners to live in mud yurts, or travel together in roaming tribal mobs.

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