‘They’re lazy, want to stay in bed all day playing Call of Duty on their XBox consoles,’ he told reporters, ‘and what’s worse is that some of these twats have knocked me off the leader board,’ he added.
Tony Blair has revealed that his 2014 Christmas Card photo was originally intended as part of a Psy Ops campaign to frighten jihadists at Guantanamo Bay.
‘Look, if we want win the war on terror, we have to be prepared to use extreme tactics’, he told reporters. ‘Psychologists have been using pictures of Cherie in experiments for years, so they’d already obtained approval from their ethics committees.
Prof Stephen Hawking, one of Britain’s pre-eminent scientists, has said that efforts to create thinking machines pose a threat to the very existence of mindless computer games such as Angry Birds. He explained, ‘The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of stupid people being able to waste their time on stupid wastes of time.’
Among the debris found was the remains of a marmalade sandwich, believed to be a possible ingredient in the terrorist’s chemical concoction.’
Pre-historic men may have already built a tunnel under Stonehenge to ease traffic conditions for visitors to the area over 7000 years ago. Archaeologists say excavators of the new tunnel have had to put digging on hold while the old tunnel is investigated.