‘Criminals will think twice about entering a church if they know they’ll be confronted by a pastor wielding a bible in one hand and an AR-15 in the other.’
‘At work, at home, in relationships’ said one proponent, Dave Brainfart, ‘not thinking about the consequences of anything can have a real life-enriching impact, whether through hare-brained fecklessness or simply through unthinking the drudgery of a dead-end job.’
‘We’ve been laughed at for too long’ said Trump. ‘It’s time for follicly-challenged men everywhere to stand up and be counted. To stand tall and proud like your hair on a windy day on a championship links golf course’.
Experts believe that ‘approximately a quarter of all serving officers are engaged on Operation Yewtree, twenty percent on historical abuse complaints and the remainder on investigating police cock ups at Hillsborough, the Miner’s strike and ‘that fracas outside the House of Commons’.