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Supreme Leader ‘best in world at hide and seek’ says North Korea

North Korean state media has issued a statement denying that leader Kim Jong-Un is suffering from ill health but is in fact honing his considerable skills for the World Hide and Seek Championships.

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GCHQ to encode all secret messages in Welsh

Following an internal review of the damage caused by NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden, the government’s ultra secret agency responsible for intercepting Facebook feeds and Twitter trends has announced that it is adding an additional layer to government encryption.

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Apple solves iPhone bend problem with launch of the ‘iArse’

Following the surprising news that putting your iPhone in your back pocket and sitting on it for a few hours can cause damage, Apple today launched what it believes will be the perfect solution; a prosthetic arse which keeps the phone straight and rigid under even the most challenging of chair-related conditions.

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Drumbeat of terrorism level raised to ’4:4 time’

Following the arrest of four suspected jihadists in London yesterday, Met Police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe warned that the level of the ‘drumbeat of terrorism’ has been raised to 4:4 time ‘at a steady 80 beats per minute’.

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Cancer scare ‘won’t change my sunny disposition’ says Morrissey

Singer Morrissey has revealed that the recent treatment he received to remove cancerous tissues has not affected his positive, optimistic view of life.

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