NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Roy Keane’s beard leaves Villa role to join The Dubliners

Aston Villa assistant manager Roy Keane has confirmed that his beard is leaving to take up a role with legendary Irish folk band The Dubliners.

Read more >



Countdown to general election: the nation rejoices

The by-elections in Clacton and Heywood have led to bunting being put up and spontaneous dancing in the streets across the land as it finally dawned on the electorate that a general election is only months away.

Read more >



Supreme Leader ‘best in world at hide and seek’ says North Korea

North Korean state media has issued a statement denying that leader Kim Jong-Un is suffering from ill health but is in fact honing his considerable skills for the World Hide and Seek Championships.

Read more >



GCHQ to encode all secret messages in Welsh

Following an internal review of the damage caused by NSA whistle blower Edward Snowden, the government’s ultra secret agency responsible for intercepting Facebook feeds and Twitter trends has announced that it is adding an additional layer to government encryption.

Read more >



Apple solves iPhone bend problem with launch of the ‘iArse’

Following the surprising news that putting your iPhone in your back pocket and sitting on it for a few hours can cause damage, Apple today launched what it believes will be the perfect solution; a prosthetic arse which keeps the phone straight and rigid under even the most challenging of chair-related conditions.

Read more >