Brits to bask in 29C rain

More later

Man with Euro 2020 wallchart behaving like he's Churchill in his War Room

A Retford man has turned overnight into a top military strategist, with the placing of his Euro 2020 wallchart onto his kitchen wall.

The news comes after sales manager Pete McBride, 42, ceremonially blu-tacked the glossy chart from the Guardian into place after breakfast today, before giving an hour-long summary of his current thinking on pathways to the final for England.

'Gather round; there's no easy way to say this,' said McBride to his wife and young kids. 'Overnight intel from Sky Sports and Bet365, all point in the same direction.'

'We have to prepare for a last 16 game against Germany or Portugal,' continued McBride, 'and then a quarter-final with either Italy, Belgium, Spain or...hold on, was it Denmark? Who did I have coming second in Group B?'

'Playing a false number 9 against Europe's elite in the knockout stages will be foolhardy and ultimately futile,' continued McBride, lighting up a cigar. 'In the folders in front of you, you'll see a 100-page summary of the tactics that I'll be using in my Fantasy team if, by the grace of God, we get to the semi-finals. All I ask is that you read it carefully, and consider it in your own plans'.

McBride finished his briefing with his daily reminder that only he had clearance to complete the chart with his special pen and that his five-year-old daughter Evie shouldn't use her Sharpie felt-tips to draw a princess picture over the fixture list for Group D, please.

'It's like this every couple of years, sadly,' confirmed McBride's wife. 'At least this time, we've had an extra year break with the tournament delay. 'Never, in the field of our relationship, has so much bloody effort and energy been put into something where we are obviously going to depressingly crash out of the tournament in the second round.'

Still no agreement on buffet breakfast arrangements for G7

With only a few days to go until the G7 summit, morning meal matters are still unresolved and could lead to a serious diplomatic incident.

Government sources have commented that no 'continental breakfasts' will be served in the Carbis Bay restaurant to reflect ongoing tension around the NI Protocol with the EU. World leaders will only be able to access the 'full British breakfast' by queuing up in order of length of governmental leadership. There are concerns that Angela Merkel (who will be first in the queue) will either take more than her share of sausage or let more undocumented asylum seekers sneak into the kitchen area by creating a fork dropping diversion to distract the Home Secretary.

Civil servants have resolved who will get to sit at 'the back of the bus' and as far as way as possible from the teachers on the excursion trip to the Eden Project. Apparently, Emmanuel Macron needs to sit there because 'these are the only places on the bus where you can comfortably put a booster seat'. This has also avoided a possible spat with Ursula von der Leyen, who insisted that being put at the back of the bus would amount to messaging that a trade deal with the EU was not a priority as this is the part of the bus that is usually closest to the bog. There are also rumours on the group Whatsapp that Justin Trudeau has 'totally been seen' outside Burger King chatting up the new French teacher.