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NASA can see Brexit f$ckup from space

Updated: Nov 23, 2021




So large is the mess that Boris Johnson has caused, that astronauts claims that it can be seen from space – alongside Kim Kardashian’s butt and James Corden’s ego. The pile of errors dwarfs the Great Wall of China and is being likened to a bigger disaster than Donald Trump’s marriage vows.


NASA confirmed that the size of the cockup was still growing: ‘It’s almost as if someone was feeding it – like a Gremlin after midnight. One second, it’s a cute Mogwai and the next its Liz Truss on steroids’,


A government spokesperson was at pains to point out that there was nothing to see, other than oceans of raw sewage and no food: ‘For those that say the nation is on fire, I say, that seems unlikely given that there’s no fuel’.





Britain ecstatic as man no one has heard of comes 3rd sliding down a hill on a tray at PyeongChang


Some bloke you've never heard of has warmed the cockles of the nation's heart by coming third in the Downhill Tray-sliding event at the PyeongChang Winter Olympics.


His financial future is totally secure as he is now destined to be taken to our hearts and tread a well-worn path sure to see him win Sports Personality of the Year, be knighted in The New year Honours list and be given the freedom of his hometown, wherever that is.


The bloke told reporters: 'I'm delighted to have been able to make a name for myself in such a minority sport. My heroes have always been Steve Redgrave and Chris Foy because look at the handy touch they've had for years just for paddling a boat and riding a bike.

‘I think it’s fantastic opportunities such as mine exist. Britain is so desperate for success in any international sport, that if you can pull it off, no matter how obscure that sport is, then you’re made for life.’


photp:https://pixabay.com/users/glavo-6474130/

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