top of page


Following sexism accusations, slogans on Primark’s children's t-shirts have been changed.


The boys ones now read ‘The World is Yours, Make the Rules’, ‘Warrior King’, 'Cheer up luv it might never happen', 'Ssh, a man is talking', ‘Lovely jubblies'. The girls equivalents read ‘It's a man's world, I follow the rules’, ‘Damsel in Distress needing rescue’, 'My place is in the kitchen', ‘I hope I’m sexy enough’, 'Votes for women? No thanks!'.


A spokesman for Primark pushed a female colleague aside to say ‘You can’t say anything these days. Although I’m less qualified, I earn 15% more than my female colleagues, because of their hysterical outbursts and fainting fits. My last performance review concluded I was a danger to women, but the Met laughed it off.’




Popular Prime Minister, Captain Showbiz himself, Boris Johnson, is up for a well-deserved award at this year's glitzy but utterly meaningless ceremony.


Westminster Side Story is a glorious musical psychodrama about a dysfunctional government that thinks all its problems can be sorted out by drinking itself to death.


'It's possibly his finest role so far, said cinema critic Matt French. 'We've seen Boris as a tram driver, a JCB driver, and a man who will draw bananas with children. He's an incredibly versatile actor, as his performance at PMQ's has proved, and he's barely put a foot wrong since his starring role in 'Lying Actually.'


'I don't think anyone would deny him the accolades his performance so richly deserves. Its a resounding testament to the power of bullshit.'


bottom of page