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Trump's legal woes mount as Lieutenant Columbo assigned to his case




Donald Trump's has an extra legal problem as Lieutenant Columbo of the Los Angeles police department has been assigned to his case.


Columbo is usually assigned to homicide but was recently put onto the Trump case by his "chief back at the department."


The chief explained; "I was watching some of Lieutenant Columbo's old cases, which have been conveniently prepared as television programmes and I realised that all the guilty people were rich bastards with plenty to hide and suddenly the shades fell from my eyes and Mr Trump fitted the profile."


Holly & Phil to host Ukraine vote




Moving on from poverty shaming, the co-presenters will be democracy-shaming Luhansk and Donetsk, while jumping the queue for Soviet reunification. A producer said: 'We'll have a Wheel of Misfortune, where every prize is an invasion'.


The presenters said they were unfazed by the media backlash, insisting military coups were just a 'harmless bit of fun'. They promised to reduce the energy bill of any viewer by switching to Russian gas, and their producer said that any annexation would be followed by a light-hearted cookery segment.


'Ukraines will vote via a phone-in, with calls costing one pound. It will be a multi-choice question, but as always the answer will be ridiculously easy - surrender'.




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