Waiting list to see people looking at queue closed

The queue to pay respects to the Queen became such a spectacle that it attracted people from all over the country. Ron Jenkins has travelled from Clacton and is typical of the visitors;

"We'll never see a queue like this again in our lifetime, so I felt I had to come and see it. Yes, I had to wait 5 hours to catch a glimpse of the queue down the Mall and across Westminster Bridge, but it was worth the wait."

The queue to see the queue is believed to be the second longest queue in recent history. Jeff Hamilton travelled from New Zealand to see it.

"To be honest, the wait to see the queue was really long, especially after 25 hours on a plane, but then I realised that the queue to see the queue was attracting fewer people, so I could see that queue in a couple of hours. Ooh look; there are people waiting to see me queuing."

While the original queue has now closed, the queue to see the queue to see the queue remains open, and it is thought that a UK-wide chain reaction effect will see the final queue in the sequence forming in John O'Groats in 2038.

Hat-tip Sir Lupus

Newsbiscuit.com

Image: Pixabay/freestocks-photos

Roy Keane denies his rage is just restricted to roads

When police discovered the altercation involved Mr. Keane they summoned the Metropolitan Police's dangerous dog unit. Once tasered and muzzled, the subdued Republic of Ireland assistant manager was led away; leaving his victim to be treated for shock, rabies and stud-marks on the back of his shins.

The hearing at Trafford Magistrates' Court, saw graphic photographs of the broken remains of Alf-Inge Håland entered as circumstantial evidence that Mr. Keane had ‘rage to spare’. His Counsel concluded: ‘To suggest my client is prone to momentary lapses of bellicose behaviour is ridiculous. As anyone, who knows Roy, will attest – he is in a perpetual state of hate. He’s even been known to punch people in his sleep’

IMAGE: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/anger-angry-bad-isolated-dangerous-794699

Homeless move to London to get looked after on the streets

Thousands of people have moved to London voluntarily over the last week, sleeping rough so that they can walk slowly past the Queen's coffin

. Londoners who were homeless before it was an act of royalist obsequiosity, have now also moved to the capital to get looked after.

Charity worker Karolina Krychowiak said 'All these nice people sleeping on the streets. What a relief that there's suddenly all these extra resources to cope with performative grief. We are assuming all this help will still be here after the funeral - so we can assist people with no homes as well as those with a nice cottage in the Cotswolds.'

Homeless man Ian Ingram said 'I've been homeless for a while. All those nice middle-class people sleeping on the streets, with Berghaus tents and thermos flasks. All the gear, no idea.'

Image/Pixabay/josemdelaa