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The UK television channel GB News has been recognised by the RSPB for its socially aware and progressive programming policies. Indeed, it is now recognised as a major wildlife sanctuary, providing a refuge for severely damaged and potentially dangerous creatures.


"Most of the species we have welcomed and cared for have only got one wing. Their right, of course. But we are able to keep them confined and secure and give them a place where they feel at home. Listen to them chatter away! They're as happy as can be in here!"


An observer commented, "I think this is a wonderful facility. All these Swivel-Eyed Twites, Madus hatteris, captive in the one place. The m. hatteris Faragina, m. hatteris Cleesiensis and the m. hatteris Portillo. I'm especially keen to see the latest m. hatteris Reesmoggerus once it has settled in and found its perch."


Another bystander added an alternative benefit, "This is magnificent and I can't thank GB News enough. By attracting and containing all these Swivel-Eyed Twites I now know that there is only one channel I need to avoid instead of having them popping up all over the networks. That, in itself, makes it worth having this refuge for them."




Having exhausted all conventional medicines in repairing the NHS, junior doctors have decided to embark upon another meaningless industrial action to solve the nation's ills - but all agree that it cannot be worse than the imaginary funding that the NHS has been given in recent years. As one doctor explained: 'Obviously there are some ethical issues related to bringing deception and dishonesty into the doctor-patient relationship, but if it's good enough for the Secretary of State for Health...'


A BMA spokeswoman said: ' Strike action is notoriously unreliable and unpredictable, but so is a Junior Doctor functioning on three hours sleep.’

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