The government has denied pre-empting the Parliamentary Privileges Committee report when former US President, Donald Trump, was appointed head of the prison service.
A spokesman explained, "Mark Carney was Governor of the Bank of England, so having a foreign senior official is not unprecedented, unlike Mr Trump. Some enquiries suggest that Mr Trump can fit visiting prisons into his future schedule, whether he wants to or not."
Former Prime Ministers are fuming as they realise the charges they spent gazillions of taxpayers money defending could have been avoided by just taking a fixed penalty notice.
'WMD fracas - £100 - bish bash boom. Might have expensed it though,' suggested one former Prime Minister.
'Lying to the Queen, unlawful prorogation, hygiene risk in a fridge - I'd have donated £500 for a season ticket if I'd known. Bloody irritating I got fined for a cake,' said the previous holder of the record number of criminal offences admitted while Prime Minister.
'Violating a pig - I'd happily have paid up to £150 if I'd known,' said another. We're not sure if this refers to an actual pig or just Edwina Curry.
Image: QuinceCreative | Pixabay
Updated: Jan 29, 2023
Winner: Martyn Casserly
Runners-Up: "The long walk back from the taxidermist…" (McDabble); ""Follow that mouse!" snaps first customer of Uber's new cat taxi." (Sydalg).
