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'If I'd realised it was just a £100 fine I'd have coughed,' says Blair

Former Prime Ministers are fuming as they realise the charges they spent gazillions of taxpayers money defending could have been avoided by just taking a fixed penalty notice.

'WMD fracas - £100 - bish bash boom. Might have expensed it though,' suggested one former Prime Minister.

'Lying to the Queen, unlawful prorogation, hygiene risk in a fridge - I'd have donated £500 for a season ticket if I'd known. Bloody irritating I got fined for a cake,' said the previous holder of the record number of criminal offences admitted while Prime Minister.

'Violating a pig - I'd happily have paid up to £150 if I'd known,' said another. We're not sure if this refers to an actual pig or just Edwina Curry.

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