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A much slimmer version of the authoritative 'Armoured Fighting Vehicles' publication from Jane's will be produced. Soon. Within budget. And without requiring extensive re-training of readers on how to use the new book.


This edition focuses on severely delayed vehicle programmes, especially those whose service names begin with A. Coincidentally, apart from the nomenclature, one thing they all have in common is that they are being procured, or not as the case may be, by the British Ministry of Defence. The Ajax program supports several variants of the basic design: the Ajax itself, the Athena, the Ares, the Argus, the Atlas and the Apollo. The supplier won a contract 13 years ago, and so far the quantities of vehicles of each type in service is best given in round numbers i.e. zeroes. Forecasts by military experts of likely in-service dates now range from "late 2028 or 2029" through to "In The Year 2525."


Several suggestions have been forthcoming about renaming the variants as the Anthrax, the Apnoea, the Arse, the Anus, the At Last, and the Appalling.


It is also rumoured that a suitable company, experienced in operating severely delayed programmes, is being sought. Appropriately, Avanti is the lead contender.








A future report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which arrived in our time by falling through a wormhole in spacetime, has caused astonishment by saying exactly what the current one does.


"To be honest, we thought it was the current report until we saw the date," said a scientist. "In fact it's the 79th IPCC report, produced in 2146."


"But it says exactly the same - that climate disaster is just around the corner unless we act now."


Asked how total climate breakdown could always be imminent but never actually happen, the scientist mumbled something about how "we must have done just enough to stave off disaster" without steering clear of the danger entirely.


"And besides, what cause the wormhole, eh? Definitely greenhouses gases. And we'll make sure the next report says so."




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