According to inside sources Sky News will be releasing a program covering the recent resignation of Richard Sharp the soon to be former chairman of the BBC.
The ninety minute documentary titled 'Hahahahahaha you license fee sucking vampires' delves deep into the dodgy dealings surrounding the appointment and subsequent resignation of Richard Sharp. In an interview that Sky News gave to itself a spokesperson for the production said the following:
'Not only did we want to make sure that anyone we platformed backed up their claims with evidence, we also wanted to make sure that we were asking these questions in a sensitive way that took into account the human beings involved. Then we remembered that we were dealing with the BBC and what goes around comes around.'
Sharp's resignation comes after an inquiry found he created the appearance of a conflict of interest by not fully disclosing his knowledge of the ex-prime minister's personal finances after helping to facilitate a loan between Canadian businessman Sam Blyth and Former Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
‘We've seen a lot of reports claiming that the loan was 800,000 dollars, but in the interest of balance we also should hear from the people that say the loan was actually one billion dollars and involved man on man action in the bathtub. You know, for balance.'
Sky News are also alleged to have acquired the list of people potentially being considered to replace Sharp which include; Nadine Dorries, Ghislaine Maxwell, Sue Gray, and an Austrian born man with a funny little moustache.
England’s outgoing manager boasted of his flawless win rate and low-millage on his company car; exiting with a spring in his step and a boot in his arse. Taking the phrase ‘quit while you are ahead’ to its natural conclusion, Sam Allardyce has not even had time to wash his tracksuit.
Technically England’s most successful manager with a ‘win one, lose job’ record, many of his players will be encouraged to resign to protect their perfect start. Pundits now agree that it is an error to play teams like Brazil and that the template for success is just to play one game against Slovakia.
Explained an FA spokeswoman: ‘Too many sportsmen and women overstay their welcome, and I'd advise most to stop while at primary school, shortly after the egg and spoon race. Mr. Allardyce can leave, proud of his 100% success in being sacked for gross misconduct...rather than the usual incompetence’.
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