Having announced an investigation into possible acts of fraud following the screening of ITV1's drama Mr Bates vs The Post Office, the Metropolitan Police says it will launch more probes in response to a host of other programmes that officers happen to have been watching.
"For example, we are grateful to WPC Stacey Moronson for spotting a crime when watching Andy Pandy in the Neasden station staff room," said a Met spokeswoman.
"She went straight to the division's Detective Superintendent with the intelligence that PC Plod had had his whistle stolen, and an all-force alert has been issued to track down the culprit.
"We also understand that our colleagues in Police Scotland are appealing for witnesses to tell them what is the story in Ballymory.
"And we are alerting our opposite numbers in New South Wales Police after the Met Commissioner himself saw a kangaroo called Skippy on the television trying to tell a group of sheepshearers that a swagman had fallen down a well five miles south of Waratah.
"As the Commissioner says," continued the spokeswoman, "it is high time we in the police climbed into the 21st century and started to treat the things we see in the electronic media as reality itself.
"After all, everyone in Britain else seems to."
