Episode 37: Humanzees, Time-travel Toilets & Holy Kidneys
Comedy news from NewsBiscuit
Featuring Guests: Sketchly, SparklyBob & Chipchase
Host: Wrenfoe. April-May 2024
We are also listed on Sticher, Pocket Casts, Deezer,
Listen Notes, Podcast Addict & Castbox, Youtube, Spotify, Apple iPlayer
Podcast, Amazon Music & Anchor
As arms spending sky rockets - literally with sky rockets - the UK's homeless have tried to capitalize on this by sleeping inside cannons, in the hope of being mistaken for a threadbare missile. Only by getting some of that sweet, sweet military appropriation, can they get their very own silo, with top of the range camouflage and space for a loft extension.
Said one activist: 'For a fraction of the defense budget, we could end homelessness and still have enough change leftover to buy Belguim. For £2bn we could give everyone a home and still keep the option open to bomb them later, if we change our minds.
'Not only does the MoD have vast amounts of land and wealth, it has stockpiles of decommissioned vehicles that could be converted into bullet proof homes, all pre-painted - if you happen to like battle ship grey. All the homeless need to do is pretend to be soldiers, which is ironic given that most of them were.'
The rotary washing line at 43 Acacia Avenue, Warwick has been identified as being absolutely straight and at right angles to the ground. 'It's entirely possible other rotary lines are correctly installed in back gardens, but we are unaware of any in England,' said a English Heritage spokesperson today. 'Every single one we are aware of leans to the side by something between one and fifteen degrees,' he added.
Following the discovery of the rotary line, English Heritage rushed to present the line with a plaque.
'We've also applied to have the line listed,' said the spokesman, before falling pale as he realised the plaque was no longer needed.
