As arms spending sky rockets - literally with sky rockets - the UK's homeless have tried to capitalize on this by sleeping inside cannons, in the hope of being mistaken for a threadbare missile. Only by getting some of that sweet, sweet military appropriation, can they get their very own silo, with top of the range camouflage and space for a loft extension.
Said one activist: 'For a fraction of the defense budget, we could end homelessness and still have enough change leftover to buy Belguim. For £2bn we could give everyone a home and still keep the option open to bomb them later, if we change our minds.
'Not only does the MoD have vast amounts of land and wealth, it has stockpiles of decommissioned vehicles that could be converted into bullet proof homes, all pre-painted - if you happen to like battle ship grey. All the homeless need to do is pretend to be soldiers, which is ironic given that most of them were.'