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Royal Mail to charge Graham Brady per letter delivered


In a pre-emptive move, Royal Mail has announced that it will be charging on a 'per letter' basis for delivery of post to the address of Graham Brady, chair of the Conservative 1922 Committee for the next few days.


'We have suffered some tough economic conditions over recent months,' said a spokesperson for the Royal Mail, 'and this is just too good an opportunity to miss. We are expecting a big rise in post to Mr Brady over the next couple of days, and we could turn the fortunes our company round by moving to a simple piece rate charging system.


'We need to cover our costs too,' continued the spokesperson. 'We lost 2 posties to chronic back pain back in April, after having to deliver sack loads of no confidence letters to the PM to Sir Graham.


'This time round, we're investing a couple of big ship container crates to hold all the likely letters, and we'll schedule for twice-daily deliveries to try and keep on top of things.' continued the source.


In a goodwill gesture, the Royal Mail has offered a 50% discount to the PM himself for forwarding of his mail from Number 10 to to any new address he might happen to move to over the coming months.




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First published 7 Jul 2022


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'No 10 North' revealed to be Wallace and Gromit’s house


The much vaunted 'No 10 North', from which likely Prime Minister Andy Burnham hopes to rebalance power across the country, turns out to be the familiar house lived in by the beloved characters Wallace and Gromit.


Every morning, Burnham will be tipped out of bed and straight into his clothes, while his Deputy Prime Minister puts the kettle on and activates the “toastomatic” for their breakfast.


Burnham will then leave the house in a van painted with the slogan 'Power devolved to regional assemblies - no job too big or too small', accompanied by the Deputy PM on a motorbike with sidecar.


Sources indicate that the deputy, while never actually getting to speak, is by far the smarter of the two, and gets Burnham out of all sorts of ambushes set by his enemies.


Chief among these is an evil penguin recently elected leader of the Conservative Party, which still seems a better decision than Liz Truss.



Image credit: ChatGPT

Tory party divided about whether Tory party is split



There has been a mixed reaction to MP Natalie Elphicke's claim that the Tory party is not split.


"I think she's wrong, and so do many of my colleagues", said Chris Grayling, who wished to remain nameless, but ticked the wrong box.


Polling suggests that around half the party think the party is unified, the other half disagree.


image from pixabay



First published 8 Jun 2022


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