A man has glanced back at least a dozen times to remind himself of the pump number on the 10 metre walk from petrol forecourt to the payment kiosk , it has been confirmed.
‘Pump 3, its pump 3…don’t forget to buy some milk…yep pump 3…why do petrol stations always sell barbecue coals outside in one of those big Perspex fronted receptacles….er…which was it again…ah yes pump 3, £1.99 for a Lion Bar Duo - ridiculous, PUMP BLOODY 3’, muttered Mike McBride’s inner dialogue at the Telford Town Centre Esso garage today.
Despite all these checks, McBride has confirmed he will still do a final check, with an exaggerated twist of his head towards the pump when he reaches the kiosk, before proudly announcing ‘pump 3 please’ to the attendant.
‘I knew which one it was anyway’, noted the kiosk attendant to himself, for the 100th time today.
Image: FROET - Pixabay
The Wikileaks founder is said to be 'gutted' to be given his freedom, before being able to crawl through a sewer and have an emotional reunion with Morgan Freeman. His lawyer said: 'Julian spent five years with a rock hammer trying to make a daring escape. This is such an anticlimax. He never even got to do his Sidney Carton/Charles Darnay switcheroo. They didn't even let him keep his Rita Hayworth poster.
'He will never use his fake German papers or ride a motorbike alongside the Swiss border. Mr. Assange says he felt he had wasted five years building replica dummies and his fake vaulting horse. What was the point of being encased in carbonite, if he could just walk out of Jaba's Palace? In the end, Julian had to be forcibly removed from his cell, as he called his captor a Count of Monte Cristo - or at least the word sounded like 'Count'.
Image: BKD - Pixabay