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Call in at our office above the Fuk Mi Chinese takeaway on Dick Turpin Lane. That's two doors down from Barry's Paper Shredder Boutique.


We have had many rishi rich and influential clients piss pass through our hands over the years. As we hold ourselves to the highest ethical standards, we cannot reveal who they are. Our byword is Omerta. Please make your first payment for a consultation in one of the courtesy brown paper bags near the entrance.


Remember Dodgy Dave's - One Hand Washes the Other.




First published 25 Jan 2023


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With Storm Eowyn battering the UK, it’s never too early to think about how you can get compensation out of it. Eowyn can be your friend and you can get free money and that’s the best sort of money.


First, Power, are there power lines down in your area, has your electricity shut off?


Don’t worry about those guys outside your window dangling from cherry pickers or ladders’ risking their lives to restore the power, time is money - and it's not time's money, it's yours.


Get your clock out, your stopwatch, a sun dial, even an egg timer, log exactly to the second how long you were without electricity. The longer the time, the bigger the claim. You could be sunning yourself in Corfu on the proceeds and most important of all, remember, you are entitled.


Putting in your claim is often the best part. Call handlers may try to ask you to e mail them your compensation claim, don’t fall for it. Shout, scream down the telephone, abuse them and threaten them. Tell them you want your money and you want it now, a cheeky little death threat can work wonders.


Travel can also be a lucrative source of Compo. You wanted to take a train to work but the Train operators decided being snowflakes that it was too dangerous to run the service. Make them pay.


The fact that you were under your table crying and begging for help when the storm raged is irrelevant. You had a ticket but instead of driving the train ,risking derailment ,drivers thinking only of themselves were warm and snug at home, just lazy and you can claim more lovely compo.


Author: tonymc

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