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Sales boom for petrol engine Tesla cars


Elon Musk is celebrating a sales boom for Tesla cars. The models in the greatest demand are those with petrol engines – which is odd, as Tesla only builds fully electric cars.


We spoke to an auto industry insider, to understand what’s going on. Richard Scratcher, owner of Dirty Dick’s Chop Shop in Alamo, Nevada, says that it’s all to do with sales of converted Teslas. The Chop Shop works with a Tesla dealership, offering new cars which have been converted by replacing the electric engine with a new General Motors V12 internal combustion engine.


Richard says, ‘Sales of my Tesla Model 3 DBD are booming. That’s DBD, not DBS, like Aston Martin. DBD stands for Drill, Baby, Drill.   And that’s a big clue about who is buying these cars.


‘Republican’s are keen to support Trump and keen to support the First Buddy, Elon Musk. So they’d like to buy a Tesla to show their support.  But at the same time, they hate environmentalists, they don’t believe in climate change, and they really, really hate electric cars.


‘So I solve that problem for them. They get to buy a new Tesla, to help out Elon, and they get an all-American V12 engine and twin exhausts and a fuel consumption of 8 miles per gallon. That sounds bad, but it’s a US gallon, not one of your Imperialist gallons. And that’s why sales are booming.


‘I’ve also got a great deal going on secondhand cars. I can buy Teslas cheap from disillusioned Democrats, convert them, and sell them on at a premium price to Republican blowhards.  And that’s how we’re making America great again.’


Photo by Charlie Deets on Unsplash

King for sale, hardly used



UK selling King to raise emergency cash for much needed night out, and also with view to saving money by dropping Kingdom part of name.


High mileage. Non-runner. Needs work. Battery not included.


Full service history. See complete, multiple-duplicated Daily Express records. Some photos may have been augmented.


Comes with second-hand Queen for free. Ideal for anyone looking to complete part of broken up set. Those seeking 1980s-style Princess will be disappointed.


No obligation to take on costly responsibilities of piss-artist formerly known as Prince.


Will consider trade-in for Canadian Prime Minister.


No time wasters.


Image: WixAI

Tales of Olde Yarwick (& More)





The first ten stories are set in a fictional, utopian version of York aka Yarwick while the other five are set in York as it was in my younger days. The stories are written to entertain but also to ask you to think about ways this wonderful city could be made even better.

 

Do you live in a city you love but would like to improve? Or in a dump which is in desperate need of change? What would you do if suddenly you had the power to enhance your environment? The first ten stories in this collection should give your imagination a boost to answer these questions. Set in the author's home city on York, transformed into Yarwick, the tales have ideas for how to set your town on the road to perfection.


Bill Banks is a rough diamond who has his own ideas of how the city should be and is ready to fight anyone or anything that gets in his way.


The collection is completed with five earlier stories set in York, which attempt to give the reader a feel for the atmosphere of this unique city.






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