The Prime Minister explained: "On one track is a well-funded service, safe and efficient. And on the other track is just $hit. A huge pile of fetid crap."
And if we pull the lever?
"What lever, there is no lever. Like I said, it's just death, greed and delays."
But what about the other track with all the nice stuff?
"Oh, that just runs parallel. It's what France and Germany get, by siphoning off all the profits from your $hit one."
He said he would be suggesting a similar Trolley Problem for the NHS, where one option is for your nan to actually have a trolley to lay on and the other has her on tarmac in the carpark.
"The important thing is for people to realise there is no lever, no option B. There is no ethical dilemma, because there are no ethics."
One voter said he couldn’t wait to pull the lever to vote for a different government. The PM chuckled: "Oh, you think there'll be a lever once I'm finished?"
