top of page

On the 44th anniversary of the launch of the Sinclair Spectrum, aging gamers have been lamenting the loss of the iconic micro-computer online.


'If it was still supported it would run Twitter no problem, only nicer,' said one Spectrum fan.  Another noted that 'it would have been a natural at emails, YouTube and PowerPoint, although saving to cassette might be a bit of a bind in this day and age.


Apparently it failed not because of technological issues - ram pack wobble is now an IT department euphemism - but because of Sir Clive's insistence of laying a rainbow across the lower right hand corner.  'Bloody woke, innit,' said an aging expert.  'Probably targeted at LGBTQ+ gamers,' he added.  'When Reform get in, the first objective will be to finally remove every Spectrum off the face of the planet,' he growled.


A more enlightened follower of the micro-computer noted that the storage capacity of the Spectrum - 48kb, compared to modern laptops of around 2Gb - actually maps closely to the computing power of most Reform voters compared to practically everybody else.  'And not only are they under-powered in the data storage department but their ram packs really don't need to much of a wobble to make them fall over,' he noted.



The owners of online pub car park, Twitter, have taken a break from egging on fights between punters to launch a whip round to buy celebrity entrepreneur Elon Musk, to add to their collection of freakshow exhibits.


Twitter's Board of Directors announced yesterday that they had raised $132bn from the tips jar and the condom machine in the gents, which should be enough to buy most of his body and remaining hair, but leaving out his genitals, nostrils and brain 'for obvious reasons'. They say this amounts to 'a controlling 71% stake in Mr Musk', although whether they intend to place an actual stake in him has not yet been confirmed.


Meanwhile, Mr Musk is believed to be launching a counter-bid for Twitter. This leaves open the possibility that Twitter and Musk might takeover each other. Experts fear the resulting critical mass of bullshit could lead to an explosion polluting the entire planet with micro particles of fake news, aka tweets. But hope remains, as it seems that Mr Musk thinks he can pay for Twitter in the only thing less stable than his personality: bitcoin.


Image from Pixabay by Tumisu



First published 26 April 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?



















bottom of page