World Monopoly Championship urged not to allow transgender participants

Hasbro has been urged to change its "unfair" rule which allows transgender people to compete in the world championships of its popular board game 'Monopoly'.

The women's rights group 'We're Not Rampant Hate-Filled Homophobes, Honest!'  are demanding that the competition scraps rules which allow transgender women to compete after discovering one beat two women in one of the heats back in 2019.

Group leader Miriam McBadtooth stated "it's bad enough that these so-called women are allowed to play Monopoly anyway, but to put them in a position where they can defeat biological women despite the massive physical advantage they must have rolling the dice is just ridiculous. We're calling on Hasbro to do the right thing, especially now we've got the courts and the right-wing newspapers on our side".

Tensions were further heightened when it was discovered that in a recent game played by the Hounslow Monopoly League a transgender woman was sent to Jail by a Community Chest card at the same time there was already a biological woman there who had been imprisoned for a different offence (throwing three doubles in a row), forcing them to share a cell for a turn. 

This comes hot on the heels of the group making similar requests of the International Poker Association, the European Boggle Tournament and the UK Pictionary Competition.

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author: watchermark

Supermarkets start pretend price war

Britain’s supermarkets are in a war of words about promotions, price cuts and bargains.

The combatants are huffing and puffing about price competition and market share, largely for the benefit of the Competition and Markets Authority. But the likelihood of any actual price cuts is considered very low.

'The supermarkets are speaking to different audiences,' said retail expert and professional bargain hunter Max Price.  ‘They want to tell the government and the competition authorities that they are not in a cartel – which would be illegal. They want to emphasise that retailing is very competitive and that there is no collusion in price setting.

‘The supermarkets are telling retail customers that prices are on their mind and that they are working hard to keep them low.   Even if they aren’t doing any work to keep them low.   Talk about price wars is cheap, gets free publicity, reassures customers and encourages them to spend, which is just what the grocers want.

‘Let’s take a jar of mixed spices as an example.  Customers have no idea what the right price for a jar of mixed spice is.  They don’t know what is in mixed spice, they don’t know where it comes from, and they don’t know if Trump’s tariffs have affected the price or not.  So the big supermarkets can change the price and the consumer has no idea if it’s fair or not.  The only things keeping the big supermarkets in line are the discount chains Aldi and Lidl.  Both are four-letter words, as far as the big stores are concerned.

So you can take all the hot air about price wars with a pinch of salt. Which will cost you anything from one penny to £2.42.

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Breaking: 'Yes, I put out the bins!'

Oliver Heard (34) was insistent that he had completed the one task in had been trusted to do.

His family were initially sceptical given his past failures, but his wife said she was willing to give the marriage one last go, provided he had done what he promised. To which Oliver replied: 'I absolutely have. Now I just need to pop out the front for something completely not connected. Not the bins! I saw, a dog. Yes, a dog. He was chasing a squirrel. And, well, that needs checking on. How do I know whose dog it is? Was obviously he's not not there now. So, don't go spying on me. I'll be back in five minutes, once I've put the dog out.'

There was some confusion given that bin collection fell across the Easter Weekend and whether Jesus would have approved of recycling, on the day he himself was recycled. Biblically speaking there is a fine line between tribute and just taking the piss. When the topic was of Easter was raised with Oliver, sweat beads and a panicked look broke out on his face. 'What do you mean the bin days have changed?!?'

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