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In one of the cruellest examples of public exploitation a 79 year old man’s cognitive decline has been broadcast worldwide despite obvious signs that his mind is wandering.


'It’s human interest TV’, one exec told NewsBiscuit. ‘We need to take dementia out of the closet and show the world what to watch out for. When we started this series, Don was mildly impaired. As time has gone on his condition has inevitably worsened. It’s a cruel disease but makes compelling TV. The ratings are out of this world’.


Don’s children fiercely defend the decision to put him on national television. ‘He always loved the limelight’, one told us. ‘He used to have his own TV show. Yes, really. Hard to believe but this drooling imbecile used to have real clout’.


The TV stations give Don hours of airtime which he spends rambling about the ocean - sharks eating plastic straws, windmills making whales crazy, the benefits of electrocution at sea compared with shark attacks. He also insults foreigners, egged on by a group of carers who sometimes join in – and fantasises about winning a Nobel Prize. In one episode he was handed a phony ‘Peace Prize’ which he proudly displayed, looking increasingly like a Father Jack tribute act.


The last word should go to Don himself, while he still has speech: ‘I look at London where they have a terrible Mayor. Terrible, terrible Mayor. And it’s been so changed. So changed. Now they want to go to Sharia law. I guess they want to kill all the cows. We have a border, strong. And we have a shape. And that shape doesn’t just go straight up. That shape is amorphous, when it comes to the atmosphere’.


Wise words




A pub in Clacton appears to have led the wave of pubs that are refusing to serve MPs.  Most of the recent pubs have specified Labour MPs, but some can't spell Labour so have left it a bit more generic. 


Most landlords quietly admit they wouldn't recognise their MP if he or she walked in anyway as the last election was over a year ago and they weren't in when the prospective candidates knocked on their front door.


It transpires that the initiative started in Clacton, nearly eighteen months ago.  The landlord hasn't changed his point of view but as nobody has seen their MP anywhere in Clacton since the election it seemed a waste of window space.


image from google gemini


More files have been dropped regarding Tracy Island. For many years the Tracy family had used the cover of International Rescue to engage in trafficking of underage people to Tracy Island.


The British socialite Lady Penelope, now serving a prison sentence in a US federal jail, ‘recruited’ individuals, promising an exciting time meeting glamorous people on the island. These included the Tracy men, who engaged in exciting rescue operations across the globe.


People were trafficked on Thunderbird 2, which could carry a large ‘party’ of people at a time. Virgil Tracy denies any wrongdoing.


The logistics were handled by ‘Brains’, who hid his rapacious sexual appetites under the demeanour of a bashful, stuttering egghead.


The head of the Family, Jeff Tracy, is said to have killed himself whilst under investigation, but the circumstances of his death are still unclear.


We await further revelations, hopefully revealing the names of the rich and powerful of the world of politics and showbiz, without redactions.


image from google gemini

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