Existence of Ukraine main obstacle to peace, says Russia’s former Defense Minister

The existence of Ukraine’s Constitution will prevent Kyiv from initiating peace talks with Russia and ending the war, said Russia’s former Defense Minister and current Security Council Secretary, earlier today.

'The main difficulty is their constitution prohibits negotiations on changing territorial integrity, whereas the Russian Constitution allows changing the borders, but only if they move further away from Moscow.

The remarks were made to Russian state-run media TASS, and appeared to express surprise Ukraine wants to retain control of its borders.

The former official demanded that before there could be a cease-fire, Ukraine's constitution should be amended to make it more similar to the Russian Constitution, and allow border changes in the direction further away from Moscow.

'Except for the frontline in Southern Ukraine, where for geographical reasons that would would give territory back to Ukraine. Which of course is absurd.'

Photo by Eugene on Unsplash

Bookies odds on Donald Trump’s next big surprises

Donald Trump continues to outwit the bookies, with a series of moves that no-one saw coming. Like sacking the head of the army, calling Zelensky a dictator, voting with Russia in the UN and lying his face off in front of Emmanuel Macron. If you’d predicted all those things, then an accumulator bet would have made you very rich.

So, if you fancy your chances, bookies are offering good odds on the next bizarre moves by the orange man baby. Here’s a quick rundown:

5-4 odds:   Trump claims Australia (and all its minerals), saying that all native Australians are descended from Native Americans who crossed the pacific in small boats in the 12th century.

2-1:  Trump reintroduces segregation. This time it is for non-Americans, especially Mexicans and Canadians, and for anyone who is LGBTQ. Planes, trains and buses must have separate seats, toilets and in flight snacks for true Americans.

5-2:  Trump amends the US Constitution to allow him a third term. And a fourth. And a fifth.

3-1:  Trump refuses to assist LA after the devastating fires, saying that it was all due to Democrat policies.

4-1:  Trump demands that the firstborn in each household is slain. For non-American households only, obviously.

5-1:  Trump starts holding all meetings naked, saying that nakedness is simply a logical extension of free speech

6-1:  Trump nominates himself to be the next Pope and/or to be America’s first king

10-1:  Trump and Putin agree to share the moon, and tell India and China that they already owe the US a considerable amount in parking fines and penalties for the abandoned space vehicles up there.

12-1:   Trump demands, and is given, the Oscar for best President.  JD Vance gets best supporting President.

14-1:  Trump demands a rematch against the Sioux and Arapahoe tribes in Battle of the Little Bighorn 2, and that this is filmed for Netflix

15-1: Trump sells Truth Social to Elon Musk for billions

16-1:  Trump tries to sell Jordan (the country) to Syria

1,000,000-1:  Trump stops lying and being a git and apologises for everything

Liz Kendall shoots guide dog

Having decided to go pure evil, the Work and Pensions Secretary said anyone avoiding work would be taken to the woods and shot. When questioned as to whether this was ethical she snapped a pair of crutches over her knee and stamped on a hearing aid - while someone was still wearing it.

Her approach would be carrot and stick. The stick is forcing thousands of disabled citizens into abject poverty. While the carrot would simply be rammed up their arse.

Saving £5bn in benefits would also help fund the sudden big increase in burial pits and wheelchair disposal. Disabled Groups said they were concerned that this could pressure the vulnerable into assisted suicide, her aide remarked 'We bloody well hope so.'