Mayor of London Sadiq Khan announced today that he will impose a 20mph speed limit on runways at all London airports.
”The aviation industry is one of the biggest contributors to global warming,” said the diminutive extortionist. “It’s only right that we milk them shamelessly, and claim it’s all to help the environment, or something.”
When one of his advisors pointed out that planes literally have to go faster than 20mph or they can’t generate enough lift to take off, Khan replied “Exactly! Think how much we’ll rake in when every single plane sets off the camera!
”Or if the airlines just decide not to use London airports, then that’ll stop the exodus of rich people from London - it’s win-win.”
However, it’s been pointed out that only two of the so-called “London airports” - London City and Heathrow - are actually in London, and therefore subject to the dictator’s whims. This raises the interesting prospect that the super-rich may have to use Stansted, Luton or even Southend Airport when fleeing the country.
Socialite Iguana del Prada is said to have been “taken aback” when the check-in clerk at Southend greeted her “Awright Princess, just getcher luggage up on the scale then, luv” and frankly insulted by the suggestion she might have packed it herself.
image from pixabay
