One irate middle-aged driver conceded: ‘As much as I want to punch every weepy teenager glued to the M26, I can’t do it if everyone’s dead. I do get the point they’re making about the collapse of civilization, but do you think they can do it without being so irritating? They say I’m destroying their future, but I take one look at their smug faces and I just want to melt the nearest glacier.
‘I’m sympathetic to their cause, I just wish they’d all get washed away by coastal erosion. Is there anyway we can save the rhino but kill off all the hippies? Maybe if we strangled a few eco-warriors we’d cut CO2 emissions? I’m for saving the whale but can we cut out the wailing that goes with it?’