Home Office announces new 5 Star Migrant Hotel experience

Home officials have announced that whilst most migrant hotels will close over the coming months, a new 5 Star migrant hotel experience will be available for 'our most special guests'.

"Whilst we are trying to shift focus away from the political and actual cost of the small boats", said Jez Danworth, a home office spokesperson, "we are today announcing a service for migrants that come across on massive boats with significantly more resources than those that came before."

Mr Danworth detailed the service that, when the massive boat gets into UK waters, will include a meet and greet with a named Government official; a 5 star hotel experience (including a Spa and wellness service); preferential tax arrangements on all UK investment; and a 'look the other way' policy for some of the migrants more 'earthly needs'.

The service is likely to be available before Christmas and, due to increasing demand, has been made available to our neighbours from the west as well as the east.

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