Clacton pub removes "MPs not welcome" sign

A pub in Clacton appears to have led the wave of pubs that are refusing to serve MPs.  Most of the recent pubs have specified Labour MPs, but some can't spell Labour so have left it a bit more generic. 

Most landlords quietly admit they wouldn't recognise their MP if he or she walked in anyway as the last election was over a year ago and they weren't in when the prospective candidates knocked on their front door.

It transpires that the initiative started in Clacton, nearly eighteen months ago.  The landlord hasn't changed his point of view but as nobody has seen their MP anywhere in Clacton since the election it seemed a waste of window space.

image from google gemini

US Department of Justice reveals more Tracy Island files

More files have been dropped regarding Tracy Island. For many years the Tracy family had used the cover of International Rescue to engage in trafficking of underage people to Tracy Island.

The British socialite Lady Penelope, now serving a prison sentence in a US federal jail, ‘recruited’ individuals, promising an exciting time meeting glamorous people on the island. These included the Tracy men, who engaged in exciting rescue operations across the globe.

People were trafficked on Thunderbird 2, which could carry a large ‘party’ of people at a time. Virgil Tracy denies any wrongdoing.

The logistics were handled by ‘Brains’, who hid his rapacious sexual appetites under the demeanour of a bashful, stuttering egghead.

The head of the Family, Jeff Tracy, is said to have killed himself whilst under investigation, but the circumstances of his death are still unclear.

We await further revelations, hopefully revealing the names of the rich and powerful of the world of politics and showbiz, without redactions.

image from google gemini

Calling Benjamin Netanyahu a c%nt is still fine

While the British government has banned the use of the word uprising, citizens will still be allowed to call the Israeli PM a homicidal maniac. In fact, peace protesters will be encouraged to sing the chant "Who's the wanker in the black?".

A minister defended the draconian law. "Words like rebellion are clearly racist. Empires and colonialists are always the good guys. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to instruct the Death Star to destroy the planet Alderaan."

Wanted for genocide, Mr Netanyahu is no stranger to being called names—like wanted, at large and the accused. With it being illegal to call for resistance, many Palestinians will be encouraged to accept their murder quietly. Free speech advocates said…well nothing really, they were already locked up.

image from google gemini