After extracting billions from water rate payers since privatisation, plus loading the company with debt all in order to pay shareholders untold riches, it looked like the company was on its last legs as the government, country and anyone with half a functioning braincell could see it was failing in all aspects, unless discharging turds into public waterways instead of processing them to provide clean water was an agreed objective - clue, it isn't.
Now the final nail in its coffin after years of not increasing the water storage capacity through reservoirs and/or reducing losses through leaks it was gearing up to announce sweeping water restrictions such as hosepipe bans and stand-pipes in the street. Then, yesterday, on St Swithins Day, it rained. Practically everywhere.
'It's a bloody miracle,' claimed a spokesman for the CEO. 'We've been praying for rain on the fifteenth of July for months,' he said, adding, 'or a massive government bailout, again, but it's pretty much the same thing,' he said.
'According to the legend, it will now rain for forty days and forty nights. Probably one after the other,' he said, crossing his fingers and toes. 'It's guaranteed, isn't it?' he asked, probably rhetorically. he confided that he also hoped the government would rain cash on it for forty or so days, 'just like they used to'.
In other news the tooth fairy is real, Santa is watching every move you make. Gregg Wallace is the epitome of acceptable behaviour and the IDF are the good guys.
Image: RahulPandit - Pixabay
