A man has confounded all logic and reason by managing to successfully cook something on the smallest of the 4 hob rings on his gas cooker, it has been confirmed. Mike McBride 46, managed to cook a small pan of penne pasta in just under 5 hours but admitted that he never expected to complete the ultimate endurance task, only taking it on out of desperation, as all the other hob rings were unavailable. 'I had no choice really', admitted McBride - there was a sauce boiling on on

The convicted paedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein slept in the artist Tracey Emin’s bed, the latest tranche of papers from the Epstein files reveals. The new revelation comes as Emin’s retrospective opens at Tate Modern, featuring the iconic My Bed with its crumpled sheets and sea of detritus from Emin’s history – empty vodka bottles, condoms, overflowing ash trays, Polaroid selfies, period pants…. Some online sites say that Epstein’s face can be seen in the crumpl

Four hours of performative nonsense has managed to end all wars, but not in the way you expect. It's not the rampant narcissism we like, it's seeing the pretendy people sit through it and then lose. Their fixed grins and insincere applause are an absolute boon. For every winner there is of course three losers, which satisfyingly means plenty of upset Hollywood elites. Those tears and tantrums have a calming property for normal people. Seeing their pain just makes everyone e

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Video game producer EA Sports makes the FIFA football game franchise and also the Battlefield series, so it makes total sense to combine these two for gamer pleasure and current geopolitical relevance. And also money. With one the current hosts of the world cup (USA) involved in the bombing of the last hosts (Qatar), it’s pretty crazy out there. The hosts before that (Russia) are the players primary antagonist in most Battlefield games so it is clear that the two games format

A much slimmer version of the authoritative 'Armoured Fighting Vehicles' publication from Jane's will be produced. Soon. Within budget. And without requiring extensive re-training of readers on how to use the new book. This edition focuses on severely delayed vehicle programmes, especially those whose service names begin with A. Coincidentally, apart from the nomenclature, one thing they all have in common is that they are being procured, or not as the case may be, by the Bri

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/newsbiscuit/episodes/Doctor-Luggage--Yoga-Jail--Grown-Up-Baby-Girl-Dog--NewsBiscuit-Podcast-59-e3gq2fg https://youtu.be/RGfQQ8BjXM0 Episode59: Doctor Luggage, Yoga Jail & Grown Up Baby-Girl Dog Comedynews from NewsBiscuit FeaturingGuests: Paul L, Uncle Egg, Sketchly and Ian Searle Host:Wrenfoe. March-APril 2026 http://www.newsbiscuit.com/We are also listed on Sticher, Pocket Casts,Deezer, Listen Notes, PodcastAddict & Castbox, YouTube

Predicted to be one of the worst false flag operations in an already packed field of despicable actions, a big, beautiful “terrorist” incident will be manufactured later this year. Codenamed: Operation Justify The War. Expectations are low, and they will be barely met. A newly insured Trump Tower will have a newly insured Trump plane crash into it, really original. Never Forget Trump Tower merchandise will be available the day before in the Trump Store. A load of TrumpCoin wi

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Following recent reports from the Trump administration, suggesting high levels of dissatisfaction over how its key personnel were depicted in recent press photographs, a brief White House statement was released this morning. "It is extremely important our most glorious, serene and sainted leaders be depicted by media outlets as nothing short of the demigods they are. The people of America can now relax following the appointment of personal grooming assistants, hairstylists an

It’s a feud which has simmered for almost a century. There have been isolated encounters in the past – a few drive-by spayings and a regrettable incident involving a clockwork mouse and some gelignite - but now the two organisations are going to war. ‘There’s no point us trying to stop bird species going extinct while they’re protecting cats’, a spokesman for the RSPB told us while applying camouflage paint. Mike (not his real name, it’s Samuel) works as a librarian in Colche