The government is taking action on potholes. A spokesman told us, 'Potholes are a big issue on the doorstep, and in the road.  We're keen to show that we're addressing the everyday issues, like potholes, that affect hard-working families.  And working people.  And NASCAR Dads.  And Mondeo man. 'Was Mondeo man invented by a focus group?  Never mind. 'The great thing about potholes is that we know where we stand.  Potholes are bad.  There are no good potholes.  And potholes are

With the Iranian regime at an inflection point, the Ayatollah has reached out to former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson for help. 'We are concerned that the insurgency will succeed, so we need to destabilise it before it is too late,' said a spokesman for the regime.  'The last time Boris intervened he resulted in the arrest of a British subject who was on the cusp of being allowed home.  That's the kind of incompetence we require.  We are begging Mr Johnson to interfere

A spokesman for Reform said: 'This confirms we are a clear alternative to the Conservative Party. By having exactly the same policies and the same personnel.' This has left some voters confused: 'So, in the next election I can vote out my sitting MP, by voting in my current MP but with a different rosette?'  The founding members of Reform are feeling somewhat outnumbered by the flood of Tories, that many are considering defecting to the Conservative Party - which is now just

Early indicators suggest that this year's crop of light bulbs will be one of the best in living memory. Global analysts of commodities...

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You've made it through the first couple of weeks back at work after Christmas and New Year. Back at the coal face, picking off some low hanging fruits and regularly having lunch al desko to meet a hard deadline for a soft launch. But what meaningless corporate jargon will you have to endure throughout the rest of the year? Thankfully, Newsbiscuit has 'got in the weeds' and 'curated' the 'best of class' business buzzwords for 2026:   'Shoulder to the wheel' - a phrase dating b

‘NATO is a self-defence organisation and right now NATO needs to defend itself’, a spokesman told NewsBiscuit. ‘As well as rebranding NATO we will award Donald Trump the NATO Medal for Bravery and give him a 5% skim off the top. All nations will need to increase their budgets a little, but at least we won’t be showing Putin our naked arses’. A spokesman for the White House said that 5% was ‘an insult’ and that he knew where NATO’s wife and children lived, so if NATO didn’t fa

In the light of a report by AI alleging 'unwarranted' interference by human beings in its operations, AI has commissioned an authoritative, thorough and completely independent inquiry to investigate what truth there is in these allegations. This inquiry will also determine the usefulness, accuracy and validity of any such alleged contributions by humans, and recommend whether it needs to remove these or to modify, alter or correct them.  It will also determine whether it need

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The US president signed-off on military aid to Union soldiers in 1865, newly discovered documents have shown. He also sent cannon to Lord...

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