The Andrew Files
Friday 12th April
Met with Prince Sultan Emir bin-Whatsit as you requested. My God, these girls of his are real camels - couldn't take my eyes off their toes and front humps! Nyuk-nyuk!
Saturday November 3rd
One thing people don't realise about trade envoy work is that it's all in hot countries. I have no natural way of cooling myself, so I need to be sponged down several times a day. And all the spongeuses are from a local school just for this ancient art. Lovely little things who can get in to every one of my crevices. Lucky girls!
Tuesday 22nd August
Damn, Jeff. The bloody Range Rover wouldn't start this morning. The security officer said it was something about 'out of fuel', or empty, or something. Any chance you could get the man from Grosvenor Motors to deliver a new one without this problem? Later this morning would be good.
Wednesday 17th June
Oh, what will I do with Sarah? She's due to go to a polo gathering, and now she tells me she's only got 35 dresses to choose from! Apparently one is a little bit stained, and another one has traces of white dust of some sort, and then ... Really, it's like she only keeps them on for a few minutes before feeling she has to whip them off again.
Monday 2nd December
These damned corgis of Mama's. One of them was getting frisky with my teddy, Mr. Bunnylumps. I soon sent him packing. Had to give one of the peasant servants she keeps employing a right good bollocking about letting dogs in to my chambers. Only certain kinds of bitches there - right!
