Elon Musk believes London is the most dangerous city in the world based on binge watching all available series of Slow Horses.
'People are shot, blown up or beaten to a pulp in every episode,' he told reporters today. 'It's way more scary than Springfield, for example, although I'm concerned about the skin colour,' he said, explaining it wasn't the yellow skin but the brown skin he was referring to.
'Wait until series five airs,' said an Apple TV spokesman. 'The internet is taken over by hackers using Starlink, electric cars are systematically driven into brick walls and rockets explode on the launch pad. Actually the last bit is already true,' he added.
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Some newly elected bad apples have barely had time to fester and stink up the place before being forced to resign over being really bad apples. These apples were bitter and disgusting and wouldn’t even have made the grade for a supermarket's own brand cider.
The curiously well-funded orchard - where these bad apples are grown - have tried to claim that, despite a few bad apples, the rest of the barrels are unaffected. That is despite the putrid stench caused by all the things those apples have done, said and posted online.
A cursory inspection revealed that the bottom of these barrels have not yet been fully scraped, so more waves of as yet unimaginable filth seem crushingly inevitable.
Image credit: Wix AI