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Elon Musk's accomplishments


Elon Musk has asked all US government employees (except the ones already on gardening leave) to list their accomplishments, or face the sack.


In an unusual act of reciprocity, Elon's office has set out his recent achievements, which are as follows:


  •  I got my dad to lend me million dollars to start a company - how many of you have done that, huh?

  •  I won a chainsaw from Argentina.

  •  I got everyone’s personal data from US government records – useful for the X algorithms

  •  I’m supporting far right parties in Europe, although I can’t remember why

  •  I blew up a number of SpaceX rockets to distract attention away from Jeff Bezos

  •  I’m working to save Twitter, by wrecking TikTok

  •  I will have a successful car company, if I can get tariffs imposed on my Chinese competitors

  •  I’m in good with Donald, which gets me favourable treatment on lots of things

  •  I’m promoting free speech on X, especially mine


Picture credit: Wix AI

Argentina and UK governments both looking for a distraction to boost national pride



The new Argentinian president, a far-right leader nicknamed “The Madman” has inherited a failing economy and will require something positive to distract the nation’s population. Something to install popular national pride if you will, and to distract them from the excellent management of the country that he will so clearly provide.


The UK Conservative government, on the other hand, IS responsible for the current failing economy, and needs a distraction before the next election. Something big to inspire people with good old pride in British sovereign power.


The current Tory leader is disliked by the vast majority of his own party, and indeed the UK population, and is flicking through history books for examples of disliked Tory leaders turning negative opinions round.


A good global relationship is always helpful and there are rumours that Jeremy Clarkson may be sent over to Argentina as a special envoy.


Hopefully, the end result will be a lovely trade deal on beef.




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