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The Cambridge spy ring, the flowerpot men, has long been considered to have had a third unknown spymaster who had pulled their otherwise obvious strings.


As spy detectives from MI5 have said, 'we knew the flowerpot men were undercover Russian spies all along, with their plummy accents speaking secret code on primetime BBC pretending to be two characters with an affinity for pot and talking rubbish. Obviously this indicated they were aiming at infiltrating the Conservative Party, probably aiming to get the top job. We used GCHQ to analyse their August 20th 1965 broadcast and the supercomputers came up with the following string of words that are clearly codes for the Russians: "flob a dob, flob a dov, lord lebedev, flob a dob, weeeeeeeeeeeeeed". At the time it didn't make sense, but once the Prime Minister fast tracked Lebedev into the House of Lords it became pretty clear. We've got a right dickhead in charge. And Lebedev's the third flowerpot man.'



First published 16 May 2022



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NewsBiscuit (newsbiscuit.com) was created in September 2006 by TV writer and author John O’Farrell to provide the UK with the first British online satire news site. One of the underpinning features of NewsBiscuit that still sets it apart from its competitors is that it exists to allow aspiring comedy writers an environment to develop and hone their skills at no cost to themselves, while providing the UK and beyond with a daily dose of satirical and comedic articles and tickers.


A group of six of the NewsBiscuit editors have assembled and curated over 500 comedic articles and several hundred one line jokes that have been published on the website over the last 15 years, covering topics ranging from UK and World news, Science, Technology, Sport and Faith, plus many more.


All of the articles and one-liners published in this anthology have been granted permission to be reproduced by over 80 contributors free of charge.


15 Years of Typos makes a great gift for friends and, of course, for yourself!






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Dave (not his real name) is a Conservative MP. He told NewsBiscuit about the terrors of being sent “over the top” onto Question Time: ‘It’s horrific. You’ve got ten, maybe twelve backbenchers who owe favours or we’re in the shit for something – usually sexual. It’s like the First World War trenches, only with bigger rats.


‘The whips are right bastards. There’s one, I can’t think of him without shuddering, he just walks down the line making eye contact until you lower your eyes. Then you feel a hand on your shoulder and it’s your turn’.


Jenny (not her real name) is a junior minister: ‘They make you face the public. The actual public. Even from twenty, thirty feet away they smell. Not as bad as the rivers, obvs, but it’s still horrid. Who’d have thought people would be so upset about a bit of shit being pumped into their rivers 850 times a day?’


As soon as Question Time ends the Conservative cannon fodder is whisked away to a treatment centre. An undercover journalist working for NewsBiscuit infiltrated the centre posing as a care worker. What she saw was heartbreaking. ‘There was this old chap, must have been respectable once, just rocking back and forth, rubbing his knees and crying silently. Tears streaming down his face but no sound emerging. It was chilling.


‘Those are referred to as ‘the wets’. Don’t know why. There’s a separate wing – Darwin - where the others hang out. That’s party central – booze, drugs, music. The ones who can hack it, who actually enjoy the abuse – they’re the future of the Party. They’re assessed by psychiatrists and if they score high in the psychopath tests they’re promoted at the next reshuffle. God knows what the party will be like after a few more rounds of Darwinism’.


Charles Darwin was unavailable for comment. He’s dead, apparently. Wet.



First published 14 May 2023



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