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Retired Colonel Reginald Bradshaw-Wallace, formerly of the 14th Foot and Mouth Regiment, admitted sadly today that this year might be the last commemoration of the Battle of Agincourt in 1415. 


'I was initially enraged by the suggestion that after a mere 610 years, it might be time to call it a day,” the colonel told other drinkers in the bar of his Golf Club.' Though I must admit that it does get harder to get people interested in it.


'The BBC has refused to televise it ever since… well, as long as the BBC’s existed, to be honest. And the number of people turning out.,, well, actually it’s just been me for the past few decades. Not so much a parade as an old man trying to remember where the post office used to be.


'But that doesn’t diminish my enjoyment of it, not at all. As I remember that day when we marched forward to the strains of Elgar, ready to knock the hun for six, cannon to the left of us, cannon to the right of us, and gentlemen in England now abed shall fight them on the landing grounds, and in the streets…'


At this point, he was gently escorted back to the day room and propped up in his usual easy chair.





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According to inside sources Sky News will be releasing a program covering the recent resignation of Richard Sharp the soon to be former chairman of the BBC.


The ninety minute documentary titled 'Hahahahahaha you license fee sucking vampires' delves deep into the dodgy dealings surrounding the appointment and subsequent resignation of Richard Sharp. In an interview that Sky News gave to itself a spokesperson for the production said the following:


'Not only did we want to make sure that anyone we platformed backed up their claims with evidence, we also wanted to make sure that we were asking these questions in a sensitive way that took into account the human beings involved. Then we remembered that we were dealing with the BBC and what goes around comes around.'


Sharp's resignation comes after an inquiry found he created the appearance of a conflict of interest by not fully disclosing his knowledge of the ex-prime minister's personal finances after helping to facilitate a loan between Canadian businessman Sam Blyth and Former Prime Minister Boris Johnson.


‘We've seen a lot of reports claiming that the loan was 800,000 dollars, but in the interest of balance we also should hear from the people that say the loan was actually one billion dollars and involved man on man action in the bathtub. You know, for balance.'


Sky News are also alleged to have acquired the list of people potentially being considered to replace Sharp which include; Nadine Dorries, Ghislaine Maxwell, Sue Gray, and an Austrian born man with a funny little moustache.




First published 4 May 2023



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