top of page
Search

BREAKING: Boris Johnson rumoured to be about to make a speech that will not benefit him personally



As yet unsubstantiated reports are circulating that feckless self-serving buffoon, arch chancer and former Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, may be about to deliver a speech before Christmas that will see him stand to gain absolutely nothing from it personally.


One senior parliamentary correspondent, commented, 'We'll see, but I'd advise the public not to get too excited, here. It's never happened before and in my view still remains highly unlikely.'


This extraordinary story is currently breaking and we will keep you updated as and when we have any further information

How to tell if dozens of people are having a party in your house


Are you concerned that people might be holding parties in your house without you knowing? Here are 10 tell tale signs to spot secret party nightmares:


  1. Are there people arriving at your house dressed in sparkly jumpers, holding bottles of booze and asking about the "meeting"?

  2. Do you bump into strangers on the stairs who insist on putting their arm around you and saying "I bloody love you."?

  3. Does your wife say things like "I hope the party doesn't damage the new decorations."?

  4. Are there photocopies of bottoms dotted around the room? Ones that you don't recognise as your own?

  5. When you're upstairs, do you hear the occasional strains of "Hi Ho Silver Lining" coming from downstairs?

  6. Is there a pile of coats in the spare room?

  7. When you walk across the room, are there a lot of dancing people in the way?

  8. Does some of your colleagues work look like it was written as part of a drinking game?

  9. Do some people keep asking you annoying questions about a party?

  10. Are you at a party right now?


First published 11 Dec 2021



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?















bottom of page