A double agent for both MI5 and MI6 has confirmed that Noleg Farageov is a sweet, sweet play to con Russia into believing they've installed another Boris in Londongrad.
'Listen very carefully, I will say this only three times,' explained agent Uvve Doubléé (probably not his real name).
'After Boris The-Clearly-Not-Russian Alexander-The-Great Johnski dismantled British sovereignty, we had Putin right where we wanted him. Luzzia Trussalev did not quite finish off the UK, so it will now be the turn of Noleg Farageov.
'The most important part of the plan is that as much damage as possible is done to Britain, so that Vladimir and his inner circle do not suspect a thing. Then, at the critical moment when he least expects, we will reveal that we knew what he was doing all along by feeding him disinformation about whether or not we knew.
'We will then laugh at Putin and his ex-KGB Comrades and how we carefully played them, outwitted them, and deviously duped them all for so many years. It will be the greatest win for intelligence in history.'
'It is a high level strategy codenamed Bletchley, developed during the Second World War to throw Hitler off the scent by letting the Nazis destroy everything we had. It was very clever because we had in reality decoded the Enigma machine, and all along he never suspected.
'The Turing Test was used again in 1950s America. Unfortunately, that developed into a quadruple bluff when McCarthy tarnished America's finest patriotic minds as Communists, doing Russia a huge favour.
'But we have come a long way since then. Farageov is the perfect triple agent because he has no idea he is actually working on the side of the British. Once he has become Prime Minister and completely destroyed Britain, it is then that we will strike to maximise the uber-Machiavellian plot to humiliate Putin.'
Image: peterbwiberg - Pixabay
