The Turkey (or Nut Roast) meal went down a storm, the Turkey butties after seven, also, but not so much the Nut Roast butties. The Boxing Day curry was hailed an amazing meal, even from the Nut Roast corner.
But on awakening on DAB (Day after Boxing) Day, the population shunned breakfast, nibbled on a mince pie and sipped orange juice all day. Same for the next day, with fridge doors being opened, a mountain of fayre stuffed in Tupperware boxes reviewed and the door being closed silently.
Everybody is stuffed.
It is estimated that supermarkets really don't need to open for several days after Christmas Day as virtually nobody can face any food. A consortium that represents all the popular supermarkets as well as ASDA and Tesco stated, 'we're quite relaxed about the situation. Natural bodily functions will rebalance the buying population and on New Year's Eve they'll descend on us, spending 230% of their monthly disposable income on food and booze. Mostly booze, to be fair, and most of the food will end up in the food waste bins.
'Or as pavement pizzas which includes the booze,' the consortium stated. 'Happy New Year'.
Christmas is the season of excess, and not knowing where to stop. Which is where we got the idea for another round of Christmas cracker jokes.
Here are the almost-indigestible leftovers that we have re-heated for you...
Q. What is Donald Trump's favourite element?
A. MAGAnesium
Q. What is moles favourite game at primary school?
A. Grounders
Q. Why did the England cricket team send a snowman in to bat against Australia?
A. They thought he'd last longer than one of the regular team
Q. What do you call a crash involving a truck load of terrapins in Northumberland?
A. Turtle distastah (got to do the accent)
Q. Where do you send an addicted lumberjack?
A. Treehab
Q. Which fish knows nothing about transport?
A. The Grayling
Q. What do you call a shy fish?
A. Koi
Q. Which fish had a Christmas number one?
A. Kylie Minnow
Q. What's crisp and sweet and swings through the jungle?
A. A meringue-utan
Q. What's Hugh Jackman's favourite Christmas film?
A. The Greatest Snowman
Q. What's Birmingham's favourite panto?
A. Jack and the binstrike
Q. What paper are dunce's caps made from?
A. Foolscap
Q. Can you name the five Louvre jewel thieves?
A. Rob, Joules, Nick, Jems and Rich.
Q. What is Santa's favourite weather?
A. Rain, dear.
Q. What's Angela Rayner's favourite Christmas film?
A. Home Aloan 2
With contributions from billclay and writinginbsl
Image credit: perchance.org