The government has admitted that the net migration figures are due to the same man arriving, leaving and returning, usually by small boat, sometimes on a trawler, occasionally on a barge, never by P & O as they only use third world labour at slave rates and although an illegal migrant he has his principles.
Apparently the furore earlier this year regarding a migrant deported who turned back up again twenty-four hours later wasn't an isolated case. It was the same guy U-turning in the Channel more frequently than Rachel Reeves' budget.
To complicate matters, the man in question is from Barnsley and has been attempting to get in the Guinness Book of Records. So far he's only achieved an entry in Ripleys Believe It Or Not annual, as nobody can believe anyone wants to come here that bad, even if they are a UK citizen.



