'President Trump is really looking forward to misgoverning another country,' said a spokes-anschluss for the White House.
'Venezuela was already a cruel and repressive dictatorship run for the ruler's benefit, so in many ways his work there is done.
'All that remains is to rebrand the presidential palace as the 'Trump Caracas' and call the capital's grimmest shanty town 'Trump Favela', and then the President will lose interest and give up.
'But if that liberal snowflake opposition leader Maria Corina Machado ever dares return to Venezuela from Norway, he'll jail her for beating him to the Nobel Peace Prize and blame Obama.
'Why does Trump want to be the autocratic ruler of every country he can annex?' continued the spokes-camp guard, in answer to a question from Colditz News Network.
'We believe it's because he never had a train set as a kid and since then, he's wanted to be the Fat Controller of everything he can lay his tiny fingers on - women and countries.'
A statement from the nonsensically miffed Nicolas Maduro said 'I thought dictatorship and election-rigging, crude oil and cocaine were things Trump and I both loved. The ex-President of Honduras just got a pardon for the same thing that I'm clearly going to be Epstein-ed for. If Trump wanted a play date, why didn't he just ask.'
