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Trump threatens everyone except a Basingstoke man

A Hampshire man named Brian Miller is thought to be the only human on the entire planet yet to be threatened by US President Donald Trump. Since the weekend, the president filled in the last remaining gaps by threatening Iran, Israel, CNN, all journalists, Elon Musk and ‘that Alfred Nobel-Peace guy’.


However, financial advisor Miller has somehow escaped all these threats. It is understood that it’s because he is yet to sigh in exasperation at any of Trump’s unintelligible announcements or nonsensical Truth Social posts, unlike the rest of the UK (or EU as the president calls it).


Mr Miller said that he was proud to have the honour of being the last person on earth to refer to the president as an orange narcissist bully.




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