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Hollywood actor Nicolas Cage was said to be in 'shock' after a sinkhole appeared on his driveway in Southern California.


The sinkhole, which is estimated to be 30 feet by 30 feet, has already shown a much greater depth than Mr Cage's acting in his recent movie roles.


The driveway, which was Gone in 60 Seconds, has left his house a bit of a Great Isle that is Between Worlds and meant that the actor will need to use his Longlegs to leave the property.  As it would be Inconceivable of him to be Left Behind, he will use his Rage to Get Justice, Knowing that he can go to his Red Rock West property in the City of Angels.


When asked for a comment, Mr Cage replied: 'This is not a Dream Scenario but fortunately does not affect The Retirement Plan. However, this is a timely reminder that It Could Happen to You, so listen to The Weather Man and Next, check your own property The Old Way.'


photo: Newsbiscuit Archive


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Makerfield became the hottest entertainment spot in Britain as thousands crowded into the Burnham Man festival to vote for Andy the T-Shirt Mannequin and listen to his latest numbers: "Final Chance to Change" and "Hit the Road, Keir".


On the hard right stage, Reform UK's Bob the Plumber sung a sad ballad called "I Got Flushed Down the Toilet".


On the even harder right stage, Restore's Rupert Lowe, reprising his chosen role of human cockroach, entertained no one at all with his thrash metal rant: "Only 3,000 Votes? I'll Get You For This, You Bastards!"


And the BBC's Chris Mason did his ever popular act of stating the blindingly obvious with a monologue entitled: "There Might Be A Labour Leadership Contest, You Know".


Then, to the pensive strains of "Makerfield Of Dreams", festival goers drifted off, having realised that even if he did become PM there was little likelihood that Andy Burnham Man would do the job any better than Starmer.




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