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Climate change beaten after Tory MP takes it on as second job

Updated: Dec 12, 2021



COP26 has been deemed a “resounding success” by scientists after former cabinet minister Nigel Huntington-Smith MP attended it in the capacity of his new second job as a professional eco-warrior.


Mr Huntington-Smith is MP for Warmington-on-Sleaze and served as Minister for Toadying in David Cameron’s cabinet. He is being paid Greta Thunberg’s pocket money for his new role.


“We all know that Tory MPs give their second jobs much more attention, care and effort than they do being an MP and are much more successful in them as a result,” one scientist said.


“I had thought that even with the promises being made at COP26 we were doomed, but now Mr Huntington-Smith is being paid to sort it out, it looks like it will be alright after all.”


The MP was previously known as a climate change sceptic and also holds roles advising a number of fossil fuel firms, but scientists are not worried about this. “We predict he’ll believe anything for the right price,” one said.


Following Mr Huntingdon-Smith’s appearance at the climate change summit, scientists revised their predictions to include global temperature increases to be at manageable levels, coal and gas to magically become clean and sustainable fuel, extinct species to return and net-zero to be reached in every country by Sunday teatime.


Meanwhile, Labour has become the latest political party to become involved in the scandal surrounding MP’s second jobs, after it emerged Keir Starmer is being paid to lead an opposition to the Government.


“I had no idea he was leading an opposition,” one outraged Labour voter in his constituency said. “He has kept that job very quiet – I haven’t seen him doing it all. It is a disgrace. We should have known he was supposed to be doing that when we voted for him.”





COP creators confirm number 27 in the franchise

Updated: Dec 8, 2021


With COP26 currently screening worldwide, thoughts inevitably turn to its sequel and to whether the audience for this long running franchise still has the appetite for end-of-the-world scenarios.



This year’s instalment, set on the mean streets of Glasgow, featured the usual mix of cliff-hanging suspension, lengthy exposition, and some nicely choreographed flights. This time round Russia and China were the villains, although we actually saw very little of them, and the cast included the usual stellar line-up, including Boris Johnson playing someone who gives a shit, Greta Thunberg as the stroppy teenager, and the welcome return of Barack Obama as The President.



The COP creators, U.N. Sustainable Entertainment, have confirmed number 27 is already slated for production and will be set in the glamourous setting of Egypt’s Sharm el-Sheikh resort. The script is pretty much written, the cast have signed up to do another one, and the planet is ready to be threatened once more.



Asked how long they can keep the series going, the production company told us, “As long as there’s an audience for it, or until they’re wiped out by some devastating climatic event.”









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